Thanks to Robert Viering

I came across these old poems I had written back when things were good. I thought I'd put them here to maybe help ease the pain of this season (for those who expected more). I'm no poet, apologies to any real poets, but you might get a chuckle or at least reminisce a little. The Dallas poem was written not long after I moved to this evil place - it was aimed at the local fans. I wish the Raiders poem had been more accurate! _______________________________________________ Dallas vs. Washington January 22, 1983 It's time once again for that game of the year the one every Cowboy fan really does fear. To battle the Redskins on RFK grass the Cowboys just know they'll get knocked on their ass. Now that's straight to the point, and it's sad but it's true, there just ain't no hope for those bad boys in blue. The Cowboys are lucky to have gotten this far, their offense is weak and their defense sub-par. With a six and three record they should be watching at home, but thanks to the strike, their fate's been postponed. On Saturday they'll have to go face the music and playing the Redskins their just bound to lose it. The Skins will outclass this "America's Team" and shake them awake from their season long dream. And we're not just talking about beating the spread, we're talking about literally beating them dead! So let's just examine this weekend's key match-up and hope that your Cowboys still know how to play catch-up. On offense the Cowboys have White and Dorsett. If you're betting on them, you'd better not bet. Tony D's got fast feet, and White, he can throw, but the Redskins got defense and they'll steal the show. Guys like Manley and Coleman and Peters and Murphy, they'll pound on those Cowboys and won't have no mercy. They'll start with receivers like Pearson and Johnson, and California Quake 'em til they need Johnson & Johnson. If that's not enough then the runners will pay, and it's likely that fumbles will cost them this day. And Danny White too, he'll be under the gun and when Butz fills the middle there's nowhere to run. Now I've touted the defense and their great it's true, but compared to the offense they might as well wear blue. I could go on all day about Theismann and Riggins but we all know they're gonna cut Cowboys to ribbons. So no sense in wasting my ink and my time on stuff that you know (and don't even rhyme). Now there's one thing I do feel I just must admit, that Tom Landry's a genius and won't flinch a bit. They say he's the greatest head coach since George Halas, but when Washington's through he'll wish he never left Dallas. _______________________________________________ Redskins vs. Raiders - Super Bowl January 22, 1984 These Raiders call themselves a "pride and poise" team, but I think that's nothing but an Al Davis dream. A team that must fight like an ice hockey goon has about as much class as a schoolroom in June. If they must cuss and fight and make all of that noise, then I think Mr. Webster should redefine "poise". Lyle Alzado's main plan is intimidation and fear, but if he played like he talked he'd be an All-Pro each year. And he's not the only one blowing off steam, it's Plunkett and Millen and damn near the whole team. They think that a whistle is their cue to fight but the Redskins composure is such a fine sight. Now let's look at these Redskins, a team with such class. They'll knock you down hard then help you off your ass. They don't push and shove just to try to look tough. They play ball like it should be, hard nosed and rough. You won't see them throwing punches after the bell but these Raiders are cheaters and should go to hell. They think that their style is just right to win but if football were holy it would be mortal sin. But enough of the Raiders who think they're so bad, let's look at the Skins who win so much it's sad. There's not a team in the league who would have a fair shot at beating the Redskins when they get this hot. Their offense is so good, it should be outlawed but that doesn't mean that their defense ain't flawed. With the Pearl Harbor Crew, teams score from any yard line but that just means Riggins will eat up more time. It's all part of Gibbs' plan, that is, give and take. But if they don't take what's given that's their big mistake. See that's when the Redskins start rolling like logs behind Theismann and Riggo, the Smurfs and the Hogs. Their arsenal's endless but if you stop them don't cheer cause their special teams bring about just as much fear. (it used to be even better when Moseley was true but if he messes up this week he career could be through) So don't count on the Redskins to lie down and die just because Lyle comes struttin on by. If the Raiders think fighting's gonna bring home the bacon, they'll find that their game lan is badly mistaken. Submitted by Bob Viering Dallas, Texas ---------------------------- My Favorite things (Sound of Music) Thanks to Suester Touchdowns and field goals and 2 point conversions Redskin victories and crackboys in jail cells extra points after and Glanville missing When Pourdanish draws a holding or a face mask, ish! I think of him traded off to Tampa Bay, and soon I am just all grins Crisp fall afternoons of Gold and Burgundy Next time we WILL crush San Fran on a Monday Wise use of all of our draft picks this spring These are a few of my favorite things When Norv Turner flings his headset it's a fearsome sight Just hoping he'll pull it together or leave, or soon we will just all scream. Brian and Darrell and Trent in the Pro Bowl Matt Turk and Skip Hicks and Stephen Alexander! Going to playoffs and Super Bowl dreams These are a few of my favorite things (Big windup here) When the Pro Bowl voters screw up When the crackboys win I picture Mike Irvin in front of a judge And soon I am all just grins! -------------------------- Twas the night before Xmas, Webskins Style Thanks to Russ: 'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the Jack, Not a playoff hope was stirring, but we'll be back. The bids were sent in and prepared with care, In hopes that John could keep the team there. The scouts were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of Ricky Williams danced in their heads; And Norv in his kerchief, and Charlie in his cap, Had settled their brains for a LONG winter's nap, When out on the turf there arose such a clatter, Patrise sprang a penalty, lest the last game would matter. Away to the windows I flew like Darrell Green, Joe Gibbs and Sam Grossman, what does this all mean? etc, etc. He was chubby and plump, a lot like Sean Gilbert, But this man CAN deliver, Sean plays like Dilbert. A wink of his eye and a twist of the head Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word but went straight to his work, And filled all our holes, then turned with a jerk. And laying his finger aside of his nose And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose. He sprang to his sleigh, leaving our team a Blue Chipper, And away they all flew beyond the Big Dipper. But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight: "The 'Skins will win it all, And the Cowboys will bite!" -------- Twas the Night Before Christmas Sept 12, 1999 (Opening Day v. Cowboys) By Sarah White Poem